Have you ever ejaculated before you wanted to?
You are not alone. Most guys have.
There are lots of techniques out there to last longer in bed, and today I’m going to share 5 of the easiest techniques you can start using today.
If you’re needing a little motivation, come back and read: What is Beyond Ejaculation? after you’ve gone through these 5 techniques.
Let’s get to it!
1. Empty your bladder before sex.
If you know you’re about to have sex, try going to the bathroom first. This can relieve some of the pressure in your genital region, and that relief of pressure can help lessen the “need” to ejaculate.
If you feel yourself getting close to the point of no return (about to ejaculate) during sex, try to notice if your bladder is full. Because it can be hard to tell when you’re in the heat of the moment, try pressing your hand on your lower abdomen where your bladder is (between your belly button and pubic bone). It is okay to press pause during sex to go pee.
2. Breathe deeply, starting right now.
Generally, we breathe quicker and shorter breaths during sex. This short & quick breathing can create tension that can actually push you towards ejaculation.
Have you ever noticed in the moments before ejaculation that your breathing becomes even shorter and more shallow? Breathing deeply can help move you away from imminent ejaculation.
Breathing deeply is an amazing way to reduce tension, to spread pleasure throughout your entire body, and bring in more ease and presence into any given moment.
Extra points if you breathe into your lower belly instead of your upper chest.
I say start now because how you do one thing is likely how you do everything. If you practice taking deep breaths throughout your day, you will 1: be generally more relaxed and present, and 2: more likely to remember to breathe deeply during sex.
3. Make noise. Use your voice!
Moan, grunt, growl, sigh, express your pleasure through your voice! Give your pleasure into the world through your voice – rather than out of your cock. Seriously.
Being expressive with your voice during sex can help move your sexual pleasure throughout your entire body (instead of keeping it localized to your cock).
Side benefit: a common complaint of women is that their boyfriends don’t make any noise during sex.
“It’s like he’s silent, and I’m not sure if he’s enjoying himself or not, and then all of a sudden he cums!” I’ve heard this statement more than a handful of times over the years.
Being expressive with your voice will help you move pleasure throughout your entire body, AND it will likely help create more connection between you and your partner. Greater connection will mean you’re focusing less on your own bodily sensations, which leads to technique #4…
4. Focus on your partner.
What do you love about them? What do you love about their body?
Shift your focus away from your genitals – from your own body.
The last thing you want to do during sex is worry about whether or not you’re going to ejaculate. This internal hyperfocus can ironically make it more likely for you to ejaculate (or will make it challenging to get hard in the first place).
Try noticing things about your partner that you love. Maybe their eyes are gorgeous, maybe their ass is delicious, maybe you love their moans, maybe you love how present they are with you.
Try running your hands and fingertips over their body, through thier hair, over their lips… How can you add more pleasure to their experience?
In doing so, you’ll likely experience more pleasure yourself!
5. Go really slow for the first 15-20 minutes.
There’s a sweet spot, a threshold that happens for many people somewhere between the 15-20 mark. Once you pass this threshold, your body’s physical urge to ejaculate can lessen.
It’s good to take longer during “foreplay,” but once you begin penetrative sex, don’t rush into banging like a porn star.
Take your time. Move slowly. Warm up.
If you think about it, this makes logical sense… NBA players don’t start basketball games without stretching and warming up. If they went right into full-on action mode, the chances of injury would skyrocket.
Once you get “warmed up” during sex, it’ll be much easier for you to “perform” at your peak ability.
Consider this too: How long do you masturbate for? I would guess it’s nowhere near 20 minutes. If you regularly masturbate for 5 minutes or less before ejaculating, you are training your body’s sexual response cycle to be really, really short. Once you surpass the timeframe of your regular sexual response cycle, you’ll be in new territory, and your brain will be open to new programming.
Want to take your sex life to the next level?
In a few months I’m going to launch an orgasm & ejaculation training for men. It’ll be a comprehensive training that brings together the best of what I’ve learned in Tantra, Taoist Sexuality and western practicality. I’m going to give this course to 10 people for free before it comes out to the public (this is only for folks on my email list),
I love hearing from you, so please leave a comment below and let me know how this article landed for you.
Until next time,