As a teenager it’s possible to ejaculate 5 or 6 times (or more) in a day and feel pretty great. Once you get to be in your late 20s or early 30s though, it’s an entirely different story. I’m 33, and if I ejaculated 5 times in one day it would fuck me up for a while.
Since you’re reading this article, I bet you have at least a suspicion that your ejaculation frequency impacts other areas of your life.
Your ejaculation frequency has a direct impact on EVERY aspect of your life.
This begs the obvious question…
How Often Should You Ejaculate?
This is a question I’ve researched a great deal. There are a lot of perspectives out there, and I wrote this article to help make sense of them all.
The short answer is this: you have your own ideal ejaculation frequency that is specific to you, and you alone.
Hint: it’s probably less often than how much you currently ejaculate.
This is a comprehensive article, so I created quick reference links to different sections below:
To skip ahead to different sections of this article, click these links:
- Eastern Perspectives on Ejaculation
- Ejaculation Frequency and Prostate Cancer
- How Often Should you Ejaculate?
- IMPORTANT: Try an Experiment
- When Should You Ejaculate?
- It Might be Time to Ejaculate if…
- Real-World Benefits of Semen Retention
- Thoughts on Semen Retention
- In Closure
How often should you ejaculate?
Let’s start by looking at a few eastern traditions…
Eastern Perspectives on Ejaculation
Eastern traditions (like Tantra & Taoist Sexuality) have linked sexual power with ejaculation frequency for literally thousands of years. These traditions have a lot to offer us becauase they generally take a more holistic approach to health than we do in the west.
There are lots of modern branches of these traditions, and even though they share similar fundamental philosophies, they still give different recommendations for how often you should ejaculate:
‣ One Tantra school says you should only ejaculate for procreation (while having as much sex as you want).
‣ Another Tantra school says that you should ejaculate only as often as you can give blood (every 8 weeks).
‣ One branch of Taoist Sexuality says that you should ejaculate at a specific frequency that is related to your age (for example: every 8 days for 30-year olds).
‣ Another branch of Taoist Sexuality says you should ejaculate based on what season it is (for example: zero ejaculations during the winter, occasional ejaculations during the spring, and very infrequent ejaculations during summer and fall).
It’s important to note that all of these traditions believe you should minimize your ejaculations.
They all believe that excessive ejaculation depletes your sexual energy (life force), and makes you a less powerful being.
They believe that sexual energy is a powerful resource that should be cultivated and treated with reverence… and if you cultivate your sexual energy, every area of your life will improve.
(I’ve included specific real-world examples of this later in this article).
In these traditions, sex is viewed as a healthy, beautiful and joyful act that should be experienced regularly, with intention, care and celebration.
That sounds a bit different from our western view of sex, eh?
Western society’s views on sex are disappointing, and often misleading…
Ejaculation and Prostate Cancer
One western study that was recently published that shows a correlation between frequent ejaculation and a reduced rate of prostate cancer.
There is a major problem with the way mainstream society interprets this study.
The study only showed a correlation, and correlation does not equal causation.
Example: smoking is correlated with alcoholism, but if you’re a smoker, it will not cause you to be an alcoholic.
This study inspired all sorts of sensationalist internet headlines like “Men Should Ejaculate 21 Times Per Month to Avoid Prostate Cancer.”
These headlines are wrong.
You would never catch a researcher saying anything like that, because they understand that correlation does not equal causation. If you read the study, you’ll see that it clearly says more research is needed because there’s no way to know if other related factors were actually the cause for the reduced risk.
It’s probable that people who ejaculate regularly have a healthy sex life, and a healthy sex life is correlated with regular physical activity, closer interpersonal relationships and generally increased levels of happiness. Any one of these things could be the cause of the reduced cancer risk.
Important side note: this study did not show any correlation between reduced risk of the types of prostate cancer that are actually deadly.
Personally, I’d like to see a study that observes men who have regular sex who also practice semen retention (the art of multiple orgasms without ejaculation). I’d bet money that those men have lower rates of all sorts of health problems…
My conspiracy theory:
Eastern cultures have known for thousands of years that frequent ejaculations reduce men’s clarity, power and ability to get shit done… Now western culture is saying that men should ejaculate every 21 days.
I believe that people in power have a vested interest in keeping the general population subdued. Ejaculating 21 times per month would definitely do that.
Feel free to draw your own conclusions…
How Often Should You Ejaculate?
Again, the short answer is:
You have your own ideal rate of ejaculation that is specific to you, and you alone.
The in-depth answer is:
As often as it feels good for you, with one major catch…
When I say “feels good,” I’m not talking about the instant gratification kind of feels good. I’m talking about a deeper, core existential level of feels good.
I’m talking about when you are in full alignment with your life purpose, where you feel powerful, abundant, open and easeful. That kind of “feels good.”
If you ejaculate often and/or watch porn often, you probably haven’t experienced the levels of “feel good” I’m talking about.**
**Frequent ejaculations and regular porn consumption can affect your brain in ways that reduce your ability to perform at your highest levels, AND that reduce your ability to have meaningful connections with other humans. No joke.
How do you find out your ideal ejaculation frequency?
***This next section is the most important part of this article***
Experiment and Observe
To determine your ideal ejaculation frequency, you’ll need to experiment.
If you ejaculate every day, try going 5 days without an ejaculation and see what happens. Next, you could try going 10, 20 or even 30 days without an ejaculation.
Notice how your levels of clarity, motivation, and confidence evolve.
Pay attention to the little things too. For example, on the day after you ejaculate…
- Do you drink more caffeine?
- Are you more irritable?
- Do you find your partner less attractive?
- Do you feel drained?
- Do you have brain fog?
If any of these things happen for you, you probably need to increase the amount of time between your ejaculations.
On the flipside, if you feel empowered, clear, charged and easeful after you ejaculate, it’s a sign that the time between your ejaculations is ideal.
Important: be sure to pay attention to the 2nd and 3rd day after you ejaculate too. The signs of ejaculation hangover are subtle, but they’re real, and when you see them you’ll probably want to do something to avoid them in the future.
I recommend making notes about your experiments.
I write about this in my journal. Something about writing it down on paper really helped everything land for me.
If you experiment and observe your ejaculations and energy levels for 4 to 6 weeks, you should have a much better idea of what your ideal ejaculation frequency is.
AND – It’s important to know that your ideal ejaculation frequency will shift over time.
This is worth figuring out for yourself because the benefits of getting this right are amazing.
I didn’t realize how much of an impact all of this had on my life until I did my own experiments…
My Biggest Experiment:
I just went 30 days without having an ejaculation, and it improved literally every area of my life.
Since I shared my story, I’ve been getting private messages from men around the world who are trying this practice with incredible results too.
Before my 30-day experiment, I ejaculated once every 7-10 days because that’s what I believed was ideal for me.
After experiencing the benefits of retaining my semen for longer, I’ve decided that I’m going to ejaculate once every 14-21 days from now on. That is the time period in which I received HUGE benefits from this practice of semen retention.
Again, I want to stress that before my 30-day experiment, I couldn’t see outside of my self-imposed bubble… I thought I knew what was best for me…
Here’s my beer analogy: It was as if I always drank shitty beer because I was attached to it, and I didn’t have any idea how amazing craft beer could be. Yeah.
To assist with the question of: How often should you ejaculate? Let’s go a little deeper…
Once you decide that you do want to ejaculate, when should you?
When Should You Ejaculate?
‣ Don’t ejaculate when you are sick. If you do, your body will not have as much energy to help you recover.
‣ If you play sports, don’t ejaculate right before a game. It’ll lower your performance. Check out Muhammad Ali’s perspective on ejaculation and performance if you don’t believe me.
‣ If you have a huge work week in which you have to be at your peak performance all day every day, consider waiting to ejaculate until the end of the week.
‣ When you have sex or masturbate and don’t ejaculate, make sure to circulate your energy immediately after sex to prevent blue balls.
‣ MOST IMPORTANTLY: If you do ejaculate when you’re trying not to, don’t worry about it. Enjoy it! Love yourself. It’s okay. This is a practice. It’s common for men to get down on themselves and experience shame if they accidentally ejaculate. I know that experience well, and it that shame never helped anybody. It’s important to enjoy your pleasure and keep practicing. For real.
It might be time to ejaculate if…
‣ You have gone a long time without ejaculating and you feel constantly tense and/or agitated.
‣ You feel that you might emotionally or physically explode at any moment.
‣ You’re ready. Go for it! Enjoy it. Ejaculating can be a wonderful experience.
The important thing is to notice the difference between the physically addictive urge to ejaculate in a moment of pleasure, and your body’s healthy timeframe to ejaculate.
My Personal Practice:
When I know that I’m about to have sex, I make a conscious choice whether or not I’m going to ejaculate during the sexual experience, before anything sexual actually begins. I recommend you try this too because…
If you make a steadfast decision not to ejaculate before you begin to have sex, you will have a much easier time lasting as long as you want in bed. Your mind is incredibly powerful, and it can be a great ally in the practice of semen retention and ejaculation control.
Real-World, Non-Sexual Benefits of Semen Retention
All this talk is great, but what are some actual benefits of semen retention?
I like going for 30-minute runs a few times per week. Semen retention practice gives me the fuel to push a little harder in my runs (which at this point in my life is a good thing.
If I go for a run on the same day or day after I ejaculate, I won’t have as much fire, willpower or stamina to keep going. I am much more likely to stop early to rest and relax, instead of having the willpower to push through.
Earlier this year a company reached out to me to create a visual media product for them. The gave me their ideal budget, and it was way too low… I needed to negotiate.
Practicing semen retention gave me an extra edge of confidence and abundance mindset. That extra edge allowed me to negotiate an agreement that was literally 5 times as much as their original ideal budget.
When I practice semen retention, my emotional state of being is consistent and strong. I still experience all of the same emotions everyone else does, but I am less likely to get snagged by them and end up in an emotional hole.
More Thoughts on Semen Retention Practice
For some of you, this article may be the first time you’re hearing that sex with orgasm without ejaculation is a thing.
Years ago I viewed ejaculation as the entire point of sex. Ironically that was the time when I struggled most with premature ejaculation.
It is 100% possible to have amazing sex and amazing orgasms without ejaculating. If you told me this years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you because I struggled with premature ejaculation and major sexual insecurity. Through studying and practicing Tantra, Taoist Sexuality and other systems, I have overcome these issues, and I’m stoked to be here today to help you on your journey.
If you decide to embark on this journey of semen retention, you will have to make a serious commitment.
You’ll have to undue and reprogram a lot of the bullshit society has fed us about sex. You will have to dissolve limiting beliefs, let go of masturbation habits that aren’t supporting you, and anything you’ve picked up from porn that subconsciously affects your perspective on sex.
You will also have to practice, practice, practice…
It takes determination and consistent action, but the rewards are worth it. They’re incredible… Beyond words…
Having support is helpful.
Specifically, it’s helpful to have someone you can talk to about this. It’s helpful to have someone who can guide you through this process.
I’d love to support you with this. It’s my plan to help us all experience more pleasure, sexual abundance and change the way sex is viewed in our culture.
On that note, I’m putting together a course on semen retention and orgasmic mastery that will come out in early 2019. Before I publicly share the course, I’m going to give away some spots for free to folks on my email list. If you’d like to join, here’s a signup form:
Closing Thoughts on Ejaculation Frequency
To say it one last time:
If you cultivate your sexual energy and don’t ejaculate all the time, you can uplevel every area of your life.
How often should you ejaculate? Probably less often than you currently are. Don’t exist in a constant state of ejaculation hangover.
Try an experiment.
Please let me know if you have any questions. I’d love to support you on your journey with this.
If you found this article helpful, I’d love to hear how in a comment below.